Here's some more notes on advanced empathy. This can be a tricky concept to grasp initially....don't worry....where there is a will there's a way.....it will fall into place eventually!
The communication of empathy to the client is thought to be the most important factor in bringing about change and learning (Dryden, 1996).
The empathic counsellor enters the private perceptual world of the client and experiences the feelings and sensations as if they were the counsellors own. To do this the counsellor must lay aside her own views and values and make no value judgements of that client. This allows her perceptions to be true to the client’s feelings and not tainted by her own feelings or opinion of the client.
Empathy allows the client to feel really understood and the non-judgmental, understanding caring attitude of the counsellor fosters a safe environment where the client can express their feelings.
Empathy must be communicated to the client for it to be of any value. The counsellor reflects their understanding of the clients experience and feelings to them, checking for accuracy and being guided by the response that is received, gradually focusing on meanings and allowing fuller understanding and deeper exploration. Empathy redresses poor self-worth and alienation, as the client feels valued and cared for due to the counsellor’s efforts to ‘be there for’ and understand the client. Being really listened to by someone who understands and the deeper exploration of themselves and their feelings allows the clients to listen more accurately to themselves and become more caring and empathic towards themselves. This increased understanding and prizing changes the client’s self-concept, becoming more accurate. The self-concept is now more congruent with the experience the client has of himself and his behaviour changes to match the new concept.
Advanced empathy enables the client to see new perspectives on their behaviours, experiences and feelings (Dryden, 1996). The intense listening, probing and clues from clients expressions and body language or how they view their experiences or their behaviours allows the counsellor to see or sense feelings or meanings that the client is scaresly aware of. The sharing of these blind spots may enable the client to move on. An advanced empathic response may be a tentative questioning response ‘I think what I’m hearing is...’ While this indicates real understanding it can also challenge aswell. What the counsellor reflects to the client is not her opinion of what is going on but is securely based in what is flowing from the client at that time, it is a sensing. This may open up whole new areas, shedding light on a situation. It may enable the client to see themes, help them to give expression to their feelings or see the bigger picture. It encourages clarity. Some empathic responses may be echoes of clients feelings ‘It’s as if...’ as the counsellor checks out a feeling with the client.
In advanced empathy what the counsellor is communicating to the client is the
felt sense. The felt sense it what is on the edge of the awareness, between the known and the unknown. The known being what we recognise as our behaviours and feelings. The unknown contains deeper levels of feelings.
Underlying feelings are often not strong feelings like anger or sadness they are more like sensations, tightness, welling up or warmth. To access the unknown, the underlying feelings, the counsellor must focus on the edge of the client’s awareness. The felt sense is the door to the unknown. Its may be accessed by echoing words or sensations the client is experiencing - reflecting tightness, blackness. Unlike empathy where the client may immediately respond as the counsellor indicates their understanding, here the client may hesitate as the echoing of the sensing of their feelings is just out of their awareness.
The real therapeutic value of advanced empathy is helping the client to become aware of feelings and meanings. The challenging and new perspectives that emerge with the use of this skill depend of the formation of a trusting relationship where the client feels cared for and understood.
Growth occurs in clients experiencing person-centred counselling, as the client moves towards a more autonomous existence, which is more in keeping with their true self. Changes happen in the way the client feels and experiences life. The trust and value themselves more which changes the way they conduct relationships and the decisions they make.
References
Corey, G (1996) Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Brooks/Cole Publishing Company, Pacific Grove.
Dryden, W (ed) (1990) Individual Therapy. Open University press, Milton Keynes.
Hough, M (1998) Counselling Skills and Theory. Hodder and Stoughton.
